Sunday, 22 February 2009

Depressed PB

As the title suggests this may not be the merriest of posts.

I have just completed the compulsory first six advocacy course, so can now go forth into my second six. The course was useful, and on the whole enjoyable with many eminent (if a little out of touch) barristers regaling many anecdotes from their careers at the Bar since the ice age.

I am not feeling as comfortable in Chambers as I was. I am at a loss to explain why this is, but I sometimes feel that I come across as a bit dull, particularly with the younger members. As a pupil it's simply not my place to make comment on any gossip or the like being discussed, but nevertheless I feel a bit of pressure to have a bit more about me. Perhaps I'll learn to juggle and flame throw in order to entertain like a court jester. Come April, this may be rather too analogous than is comfortable.

To be completely honest, I'm finding it hard to care. My significant other and I decided to go our separate ways after 5 years. It was in the end a mutual decision based on the fact that we live in different parts of the country and have entirely separate lives. Having managed to get this far, I can't jack it all in for a frolic of the heart, but it is a hard reality to come to terms with. I simply feel sad.

I hope the high price this career comes at both financially and emotionally will be worth it. Looking at it from where I am at this particular moment, I think not.

Happier posts to come, hopefully.